1st Man: "The one thing I hate about all this is when I go home. I try to be as quiet as possible. I turn off the headlights, turn off the engine and coast into the driveway. Then I ease open the front door, take off my shoes and sneak upstairs as quietly as I can. But my wife always wakes up and we end up having a fight."
2nd Man: "Nah, you've got it all wrong! I drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few times, get out of the car, slam the door, jump into the house and bang the door. Then I yell "Honey, I'm home! I run upstairs, slap her on the ass and say, "How about a little love, woman? You know, she never even moves!"